OK well I am happier to say that things are not as horrible as i first thought. YOu know when this all happened i was pretty confused and very upset of course. I think that the way this has all happened is very hard to take but i have to acknowlegde that God directs everything and can use everything to further His childrens love for God. I feel that this was a wake up call for me that I had better get going so to speak in continuing growing spiritually. I was not wanting to grow anymore because i was comfortable and i did not want to. I was slowly seeing this before all this happend and i still dont think that this is right however It is Gods will for this trail to be in my life right now. I feel that i need to grow spiritually on my own for a while so that i can be a leader in Sarahs life one day. I think that we will know when that day comes and i think God will show it to us. I have been pretty upset this last past week but i am feeling a lot more positive because the more i pray and meditate on this the more i feel that it is not over between me and her and that a short break is needed for me to sort out myself spiritually. This is what i feel is Gods will. This whole incident has brought me closer to God and i think it was His plan to do so. He is working in my life constantly and i am glad He has helped me solve some issues in my life that where keeping away from growing in Him. This has altered the way I really look at things. Its not easy but learning things like this is never easy. I wish it never came to this it really does stink to put it in plain words. For now though i feel with Sarah that we have to stay apart till I have some time to show that this change is not just a veneer but it is a true change in my life and commitment to Christ.

Steve